SuccessfulMindset

In part 1 of this post, we covered the definitions of the 4 personality types.  In this post, we’ll actually talk about why knowing them is important and how to use the knowledge to improve your dealings with people.

The bottom line to the whole issue is that people like people like them…and in turn, they like to do business with, buy from, partner with, refer people to, etc, people like them.  So, the more you can relate to someone, the more likely you’ll be able to have a mutually beneficial relationship.

Sometimes this is called “mirroring”, and that’s basically what it is - mimicking people’s personality types, posture, tone, speech rate and volume, etc.  Again, people like people like themselves.

So how do you do this?  We start by being able to identify what someone else is: choleric, melancholy, flegmatic, or sanguine.  Once we’ve identified what their dominant personality type is, we can then begin playing towards that type (regardless of our own) to maximize our relatability.

Here’s how it breaks down for each personality type:

Relating to a Choleric

If you remember the definition of a choleric, they are the “get to the point, now” people.  Accordingly, when dealing with cholerics, your primary relatability tactic is to not add a lot of fluff and just get to the point.  You will want to speak directly to them and look them in the eye.  Since cholerics like to do things their way, if they’ve got a suggestion or an idea as to how they want to do something, your best bet is to do what you can to agree with them, or make them think that the changes you’re suggesting are actually their idea!  That’ll make things go much more smoothly, because when a choleric is told they can’t do something, to them it’s a challenge to prove that they can!  Cholerics also make relatively quick decisions - they see a direction that looks good and they take it.  They don’t need to wait around for a committee to decide…so if you provide them with the solution to their issue or help them accomplish what they’re looking to accomplish, expect the decision to be made quickly to take advantage of whatever it is you’re offering them.

Relating to a Melancholy

Melancholies are the folks that love details.  Because of that, when dealing with a melancholy, no detail should be spared!  They love all the ins-and-outs and want to know the specifcs about everything - so induldge them.  You’ll want to be very organized and step-by-step in your approach because that’s how they think.  Graphs, charts, spreadsheets, percentages - these are the things that melancholies love.  But with all the details, melancholies aren’t quick to make decisions - they want to think things over and spend time analyzing what they’ve learned.  So don’t push them faster than they want to go or they’ll pull back…let them have some time to think.  As long as what you talked with them about made sense to them, they’ll be back to have you help them make a decision.

Relating to a Flegmatic

Flegmatics are the laid-back, go with the flow-type people.  This means that pressure is a no-no.  You’ll want to speak a little slower, not be in a hurry, and generally have an aire of nonchalance about you…there are no emergencies.  As long as you help them see that everyone else is doing it then you’re on the right track.  Flegmatics also don’t like to exert a lot of energy in doing things, so the easier you can make it for them to make a decision, the better.  Lots of small talk and kicking back is good as it establishes your non-hurried status and makes them feel comfortable with you…again, you’re being like them, so they like you in return.  Once you’ve established rapport, leading them to the next step is as simple as suggesting what your next step is.

Relating to a Sanguine

Sanguines are the life-of-the-party, excited and energetic about everything people.  They like new things and new directions, and are typically quick to act.  To relate to a sanguine, you’ll want to smile a lot, speak quickly (match their speed), and generally be quite expressive in your interaction.  If it’s going to be fun and exciting, sanguines are all for it! 

The bottom line is that regardless of your dominant personality type, you’ll be able to better relate to other personality types by mirroring them.  It can be challenging at first, but with practice you’ll improve and eventually it’ll become second-nature.  You’ll always have an easy time relating to your own personality type as it’ll come naturally, but the learning to relate to others is an acquired skill that will help you in every area of life - both personal and professional.

As I mentioned in part 1 of this post, I am a choleric-melancholy, so by nature, it’s very difficult for me to relate to phlegmatics and sanguines.  While it’s still a bit of a stretch for me to totally relate to sanguines, I’ve learned how to tone-down my choleric nature when speaking with phlegmatics, and as such, I’ve become much more effective in dealing with upwards of 60% of the population!  And that’s a pretty important thing when your business is people.

If you’ve got any questions on this or any thoughts, fire-away in the comments section - I’d love to hear what other people’s experiences are.

To your success,
Steve